eager to avoid pathologizing my fantasies, i lay before you, my entrails. urgency becomes to me both a methodology and a resistance: i must create immediately, compulsively. i need to transform through excess. and, what emerges, is an exploration of the visceral. layered, overloaded and/but fragile.
each sound you hear is my voice, both as an instrument and as a raw, singing declaration. the installation reveals the material world around this sonic body: a fragmented work in process paired with ai-generated videos, fine-tuned on crying and not-so-crying selfies, abstract drawings, handwritten notes, bright textures and other materials.
this project consists of many layers but i’d say it has two main parts: an experimental sound piece and a audiovisual installation.
this album was born from an urgent need to process intense personal experiences. soundly speaking and as said before, the work explores the idea of “the visceral” through minimal but highly expressive sound compositions. each sound was created by recording and manipulating my own voice and some sounds i could do with my mouth, then sampling and arranging these elements in ableton to play after with a midi controller. the result is a sound piece that reflects themes of emotion, transformation and self-exploration.
it was released in a physical limited edition of 50 cassette tapes, each one was uniquely handcrafted with different materials: neon green faux fur, coloured wires, electronic trash and components, modelling clay, hot glue, etc. each piece was also recorded one by one, with DIY techniques. these physical objects are both carriers of sound and sculptural pieces, small and strange little organs that are just trying to speak.
the release was made together with a music label based in berlin, called “la mona de oro”.
the booklet of the cassettes was designed by kate yalovetsky and printed in risographie at hfk druckpool.
during the exhibition week of the master project, two listening sessions were held at radio angrezi as a form of collective listening and pre-release for the album. the “official” release was on friday june 13th 2025, when the piece was uploaded in different digital platforms. so, the album can be found in diverse streaming services, like bandcamp, spotify and also in youtube, along with the visualiser containing the ai videos that open the door to the other part of the project: the video layer.
spotify > https://open.spotify.com/intl-es/album/5pmAhmJ0IDGmU7NyWtvGIE?si=2fmFTy_DRrui0W2eDbJkgg
bandcamp > https://monagoldenrecords.bandcamp.com/album/can-you-not-drop-this-for-me-plz
youtube > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=151QX6Lc7P0&t=851s&ab_channel=alibardavid
– cassette credits:
when and where? bremen, tucumán, barcelona. 2024/25
music, singing and cassettes making: alina bardavid
booklet design: kate yalovetsky
label: la mona de oro
printed at HfK druckpool
**many references and ideas were in my mind during making this sound piece. some behind the scenes can be found on these links below:
padlet > https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nnz0NcO6t8cbQjwHTQEDZwSlW_B97mtr/view?usp=sharing
playlist of inspo > https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6KnjUYU3ntlrU2edWYwTi8?si=e328bd89db56453b
and the explanation on why those songs were chosen as references > https://docs.google.com/document/d/1preLX6-fp5kzEPFwJqx8WykN8BApeSYFmPJzRvK9AlI/edit?usp=sharing
https://sketchfab.com/3d-models/can-you-not-drop-this-for-me-plz-2f27324216b04849be60b7a3582f9e3b
the installation, as said before it’s a work in process, it reveals the material universe around the sonic body.
3/6, 1/2, 0.5, half of a cubicle.
a room.
a green room.
where the green comes from
green clay,
green fury fabric,
fake green grass that is not grass at all,
green painting,
green shirts,
green pants,
green jackets,
green bikini,
green posters,
green crayon,
green scissors,
greened objects like transparent plastic and white plastic,
green toys,
green objects,
green notebooks,
green books.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUzIY1PbXkc&feature=youtu.be
on the antipodes of the minimal sound piece, this installation shows compulsiveness. shows attempts, mistakes, shows rough material, shows processes. there are in total four screens that also display the different steps within the ai generated films. the first screen presents the first stage on all this process: cute dancing balloons, colourful dancing guts with phrases that reflect raw feelings. thoughts and feelings that came out without much thinking or processing. some of these written fragments are also part of the lyrics within the album. a second screen shows a series of still images: textures, selfies, scanned drawings. these two screens work as the datasets for the next two screens. the third screen mainly shows a series of pictures and videos ai generated with an open source stable diffusion lora, fine tuned on the pictures within the second screen, previously mentioned. meanwhile, the fourth and last screen shows the last step in this synthographic process: videos generated with two of the main mainstream generative platforms, beautifully disgusting, runway and pika.
